i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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