I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
