"it" just moved
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
