Can Purell be used as lube?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
