Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
