You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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