So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
