they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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