i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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