He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
