I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
