she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
