i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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