not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish I only lived at night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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