38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
