4 words: hood of his car
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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