I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
