If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
