Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
