Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
