your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
