Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize