So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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