if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
