At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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