got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
