I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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