he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
