Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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