Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Randomize
