my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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