How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
