Soap is not a condiment
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
