5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
