it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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