carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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