How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
