Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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