Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
