Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
