she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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