TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
