im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
