your room smells of hookers.
And success
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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