I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
