Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
