so that wasnt chicken after all
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
