turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
