so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
