This girl is more easily done than said...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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