I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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