this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
